By the Pint's Worst Ten Beers

Bud Light Golden Wheat - Anheuser-Busch, Saint Louis
Bud Light Golden Wheat
41
Wheat

I don't make a habit out of following Anheuser-Busch's press releases so Bud Light Golden Wheat was a bit of a surprise to me. My first thoughts were, "Oh, they're trying to cash in on the popularity of craft wheat beers by releasing one of their own." Then I got to thinking... craft beer drinkers aren't going to pass over their regionally brewed wheat in favor of the Bud Light version of a wheat beer unless it's absolutely stellar. Well, spoiler alert: it's not stellar, not even close. This beer is essentially just a Bud Light that was brewed with a pinch of orange rind and, allegedly, coriander. The body is cloudy but not quite as opaque as the wheats you've had before. It certainly looks a lot closer to a wheat than a Bud Light... but looks can certainly be deceiving. The flavor is about the same as I remember a regular Bud Light tasting only it hasn't had ALL of its flavor filtered out. There is a faint hint of citrus up front when you take a sip but it quickly dissipates and you're left with a bland, slightly bitter and wholly riced light beer.

13th Century Grut Bier - Brauerei Weihenstephan, Freising
13th Century Grut Bier
43
Gruit

This is my first true Gruit style beer. I've heard a lot about Gruits recently and was excited when I found this bottle on a recent trip. My knowledge of Gruits is pretty limited, I just know that they are not brewed with hops. Instead of using hops to flavor the beer, Gruits are brewed with herbs and spices. This particular Gruit is a version released by Weihenstephaner and is modeled after recipes from the 13th century. The label of this beer indicates that is is part of a Historic Signature Series and was brewed by Dr. Fritz Briem in Munich. The historical significance of Gruits isn't lost on me, but there's a good reason beers aren't brewed with ginger and bay leaves anymore... so I'm cautiously optimistic.

Laško Club Export - Pivovarna Laško, Laško
Laško Club Export
44
Light Lager

This is a good looking beer. It comes in a minimalist green bottle with a chic old world logo and a date firmly in the 19th century embossed on the bottle. You could totally sell this beer for $8 a pop in an up scale joint. You'd make a killing too, because no matter how fancy this beer looks, it just a macro lager from Europe. Laško, the Slovenian word for toilet water, is a super thin and super light fizzy yellow beer... that's about the extent of the nice things I have to say about it. It'd be a good beer for sitting on the porch with your buddies, except they'd make fun of you for drinking a fancy boy import in a green bottle.

Belgian-Style Abbey Ale - Cathedral Square Brewery, Saint Louis
Cathedral Square Abbey Ale
45
Dubbel

Cathedral Square is Missouri's newest brewery. Based out of Saint Louis, Cathedral Square actually contracts all of it's brewing through the Weston Brewing Company. Weston, which is north of Kansas City, isn't exactly known for putting out quality beers... I've heard the problem exists somewhere in the bottling line. Curious, why would anyone contract brew through a brewery that has such a bad track record? Don't as me, because it doesn't make any sense whatsoever...

Decadent Imperial I.P.A. - Ska Brewing, Durango
Decadent Imperial I.P.A.
46
India Pale Ale

I have a number of issues with this Decadent Imperial I.P.A.... First of all, it comes from Ska Brewing in Durango, Colorado. I don't have anything against the good people of Colorado but I don't care much for the Ska movement, or lifestyle, or whatever you want to call it. Ska music is like punk and swing mixed together and repackaged for teens. Not exactly an authentic genre I can get behind. So if you're the kind of person that is so proud of Ska that you'd want to put that on your label, it might give the wrong impression about your beer. Unless, of course, you are actually taking two types of beer, mixing them together and trying to mass market them as the hip new thing... But enough about the brewery, how is the actual beer?

Monk's Cafe Flemish Sour Ale - Brouwerij Van Steenberge, Ertvelde
Monk's Cafe Flemish Sour Ale
46
Oud Bruin

The Belgians are an interesting bunch... Their beers are among the world's best. The abbey style ales that come from Belgium are some of my favorite beers I've ever had. Belgians, being a little ...out there, have some more interesting ales in their stable as well, and that's what I've got today. I sat down with this Monk's Cafe Flemish Sour Ale not knowing exactly what to expect. I've had a few American Oud Bruin style beers before, they were sweet and sour brown ales usually brewed with a bit of cherry flavor. That's the only frame of reference I really had. It's safe to say this Flemish Sour is nothing like the Oud Bruins I've had before...

Coney Island Sword Swallower - Schmaltz Brewing Company, Saratoga Springs
Coney Island Sword Swallower
47
American Pale Ale

I haven't had many of Schmatlz's beers. I remember liking the Messiah Bold even if it wasn't spectacular, so I was excited to try this Coney Island Sword Swallower. The name isn't very descriptive so I wasn't real sure what to expect from this beer. In the smaller print it says this is a "Steel Hop Lager" which still isn't a great description. Looking a little harder I notice the line "Dry Hopped IPA" ...great. Maybe it won't taste like a mouthful of hops... the label also plays up the malts used in this beer so it's probably more balanced than you'd thing.

Thunderbolt Wheat - Warbird Brewing Company, Fort Wayne
Warbird - Thunderbird Wheat
53
Wheat

I've seen a few of the Warbird beers on the store shelves for a while now and I've never been all that interested in trying one. Finally I decided I'd pick up a bottle of the Thunderbolt Wheat, figuring that a wheat beer is something just about every American micro brewery gets right. So I decided to play it say, and I'm pretty glad I did because if they missed the mark on a wheat I'd hate to taste their more adventurous beers. This pint of Thunderbolt Wheat got off to a good start. The beer pours a nice yellow color that settles to be a cloudy orange with a decent aroma. Everything seemed to be going well, until I took my first sip at least... You see, this beer isn't like any wheat I've ever had, and by that I mean it doesn't taste like a wheat beer. This beer is bland in flavor but still a bit spicy. It finishes a little bitter, something I've never really tasted in a wheat before. There just isn't much more to say about this beer. I simply didn't care for the flavors they put into this beer. Perhaps it was just a bad bottle I got... but it didn't leave a good impression on me.

XS Imperial Red Ale - Rogue Ales Brewery, Newport
Rogue XS Imperial Red Ale
53
Strong Ale

I picked up a tiny bottle of Rogue XS Imperial Red Ale the first time I saw it. I was intrigued by the packaging as much as I was by the style. The only thing I could think of was "Imperial Red = Double Amber?" I really had no frame of reference, and that was exciting. The more thought I put into it though I realized, Ambers aren't all that interesting... would a Double Amber be twice as not interesting? Two wrongs don't make a right after all. Since this was only a 7oz bottle I figured the barrier to entry was low enough I'd take the leap.

New Dogtown Pale Ale - Lagunitas Brewing Company, Petaluma
Lagunitas Pale Ale
54
American Pale Ale

The label of the Lagunitas New Dogtown Pale Ale has a friendly looking down on it just above a small line of text that reads "Still Doggone Good." Doggone good? I beg to differ. I enjoy beers that are balanced or showcase complimentary flavors, this Pale Ale doesn't do either of these. The New Dogtown is too hoppy which makes it taste dry and bitter. It smells like there is some citrus in this beer but you can barely tell through all of the bitterness. There are plenty of beers with strong flavors that I like but bitter, over hopped Pale Ales just aren't my preference. This beer isn't all bad but it is difficult for me to say much nice about it. The best part of this beer would have to be the few seconds after taking a drink when you are able pick up on the sweet flavors in here just before the bitter hops rush in and make everything taste a bit like dandelion. My advice would be to take a pass on this beer.